ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
