I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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