Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
