Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
