I'm really into asian looking animals
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
