Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
