my room smells like sperm. sweet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A+ Viking dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
