All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
