Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
