Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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