So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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