it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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