she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize