They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
