Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
