I CAN MOONWALK!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize