you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
