Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
