If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
