Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
