Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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