i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
