his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
