I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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