The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
