Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize