whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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