dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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