I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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