i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
