I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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