I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
