Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
