have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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