Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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