I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
