At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
