I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's always time for handjobs
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
