I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
