Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
