everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I love having hate sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize