Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize