hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
