sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
