I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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