if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
