White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
