you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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