I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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