Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
