wakey wakey hands off snakey
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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