Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
