I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
