I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
