I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
