i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Too much gin, very little bucket
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
