You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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