I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
