when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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