So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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