Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
