From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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