would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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