Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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