Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
