I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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