I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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