i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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