She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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